Looking out over the cornfields, she was so happy then. Her heart lingered at the train tracks. Full of love for those with whom she had chosen, her bosom buddies she called friends, her heart wanted to sing. The glow all around her was brilliant. The house was in shambles. But to her eyes it was beautiful. For it had little stenciled hearts and hand written momentos in small places, leaving traces of those who had been there before her. The kitchen was quite large. The backyard was expansive. The view driving up was of field after field. Her heart was full of joy. 

What came next was this little world in a bubble which she had built, began to get pin pricks one by one. For others were jealous of her success. They wanted a piece of her pie. Her cash she had to cover the bills, her long stemware glasses which she had bought, the alcohol stash which she had paid a pretty price for, expecting it to last for years to come…They all ate away at it, one piece at a time. Gradually it all came apart, crumbling down around her ears. But worse then that, was the destruction on the inside. 

The walls began to shake, as she held her rifle to the wall. 

The bugs were deposited in her attic, ready for when the roof fell in, to go all over the floor. 

But worse of all, was her heart was found, hanging it’s hat on a place that wasn’t there. For instead of security, she saw reason to believe that he didn’t really love her, no. Not only that, but he would tear at the hearts and minds of any children they might share, and put her down infront of them. For he would abuse them all mentally. She saw this in a flash, as he yelled. And as his voice escalated, for the ten millioneth time, something clicked. He would do this to them. Not only that, but he would turn them against her. Rather then letting them be, and letting them all live in love, he would destroy them, from the inside. In one fell swoop, she saw it all. And so she decided she didn’t want to go there. No she couldn’t have children with him. She couldn’t even marry him. But her heart didn’t understand. It didn’t want to leave. For she loved him anyway. And so she stayed, until a few years later, when she found the courage, to love herself just a bit more, then she loved him. 

Copyright Kat Lyons 

Source 1st Picture: weheartit.com       1st Picture Reblogged: neonfairy