First, I must apologize to my followers who cared about my writings here. And for my absence, I must explain. I made this blog much too public. I allowed my distant family members, old friends, and my teacher to read this blog. Some of my distant family members took my writings as an offense. It seemed to exacerbate problems with them, hinder, rather than help. I wrote in such a way that I can do, and have done in an unfinished book. I say unfinished simply because the pieces are not in order or ready for publication. But they are done. I can write many ways and have a lot to say on many subjects. But I am just a girl, a woman, with my own world that I see through. I like it there. However I am imperfect, and very different from others it does seem. I also tend to have a loud voice emotionally speaking. I thought that what I was writing was beautiful. It meant something to me, something important, near and dear to my heart. I started out by trying to say things in such a way, as to enlighten poignant moments in my life, through the written word, yet as in a cloud, not exactly clear for the eye of the reader to see. In other words, such as art may portray a piece or slice of life, leaving out the rest, and tell secrets from the roof tops, all the while keeping many secrets in their waist coat, so too were my writings meant to be. But due to the extremities of my life, and the emotions and happenings which I began to describe, family who does not know these things which have transpired in my life, and only presupposes their own ideas upon me of who they expect me to be through the lense of their eye, the boldness of my writings were a bit too much for them to bare or comprehend. Especially since I write things in this vein as in a fog, highlighting what I wish to, and not what I don’t, it confused the matter even further. For they then began to miscomprehend my meanings, or especially where I was coming from. I began to feel a bit too naked, and extremely bothered by the lack of understanding which was already apparent, boldly being thrown in my face, over something, tidbits of my heart dribbled across the page, which were meant to show truth and sheer love of my life. The lack of respect for my life and my words became a bit too much for me to bear. In addition, I became quite shy, as I was sharing these things with a large percentage of those whom have known me in my lifetime. And then seeing through the eye of my family, how these things that I write about can be so misunderstood, greatly so, it brought out in me a deep concern caring too much how others may see it. And yet, these things that I wrote about, were to the large extent, directly from my heart, and truth wrapped in pretty words. Therefore it was something poignant and of primary importance to me. I wanted to give the reader, who may or may not know me, a vision of chapters that I have been through, as in a story. I wanted to give a piece of myself, back to the reader, for them to see something that only I can see because it came directly from my life story. I also wanted to continue with the theme in which I found myself in, illuminating socities ills if I may, through the use of my own experience, or simply a biography of sorts, only not direclty so by any means of the word. I wanted to give a window to my soul in this lifetime, not of the moment in which it was written, such as taking out of thin air any moment that has transpired in my lifetime and ruminating on that. However this did not mean it to say, that those words described my very emotion or my very thought of the day. No, it was to be more of a story than a day to day moment by moment type of writing. However it was not taken thus by some of whom I do speak. And so I could not carry on, in that vein, or here at this location. I wanted to give an eye to a type of writing which I may do, and have written much more fervently and symbolically of my life, of much more intimate moments and extreme events that have shaped my reality. And yet again, I described things as in a fog, and yet explained in such a way as to the tell the complete truth behind a veil.
And now if it is alright with you, I choose to go on. This blog was not initially intended to turn out as it has. It was to be about subjects that matter to me, a paradox in the world, peace, love, joy, descrimination, politics, and the such. In addition, I wanted to write freely about little things that may not matter a great deal at all, things that only matter to me. I did want to say personal tidbits about my day or my thoughts and be open about the private thoughts in my head in my day to day life. However these matters can be very small indeed, and at other times quite dramatic. And there again, is the dilemma, there are days when I feel like telling all, and there are months a stretch on end when I feel like being private and alone and not sharing anything at all for it is mine and I do not always like to have the judgements of others on something that I may or may not find beautiful but either way it is mine and mine alone, not theirs to dissect. And therefore, I came back today, and felt the need to explain. For it is time for me to begin to write about things that matter. And I have been having the pull, the desire to write about things which matter very little indeed. In this, my format for this blog may change. My writing style may change as well. Let me begin, again in this vein. Welcome into my little space.
I want to help spread peace, through discussing ideas of importance to many others and not just me. But I also do want to write freely, about whatever comes to mind over a cup of coffee. Greetings and good day one and all and good night.
Copyright Kat Lyons