Picture Source: moodswingsonthenet
All she wanted was love, and girly things. It seemed like such a difficult equation for others to comprehend. Because they put her in a category, of being a nerd. They thought she wouldn’t like pretty things. They thought she lacked style. When it is simply that is all she was forced to wear. Becoming a pretty girl in high school, her mother really wanted to dress her conventionally. These are the things that mattered for so many years.
But as time passed by, what began to matter, is the love that she had never understood was there waiting for her taking. She didn’t understand her mothers’ love. It was invisible to her. But once she was able to take off the wrapping, it blinded her eyes. She always wanted her step sisters love, and her daddy’s love. She wanted to have a family. She wanted to be adored. But this didn’t come her way through them. So she found adoration elsewhere.
She found those who looked up to her, who were jealous of her, who saw her as powerful. She thrived in this environment, because it allowed her talent to be set free. She could develop magic that she saw in her minds’ eye. It took patience, diligence, and work. But it felt satisfying because she was creating something.
But this disappeared into thin air. It was as if the accomplishments were dissolved into societies leanings, television, and music videos, adapted to what she herself had personally invented and developed through the years. They stole her ideas like candy. So many years spent creating something wonderful, all to have it snatched up and to disappear. But she still has her soul, her spirit, the memory.
She learned the hard way that her ideas were something which others would take for granted, and use. She should be a millionaire. Her ideas changed society as we know it today. But her name is not known. No one cared how long it took for her to create it. So this time, she knows, to keep it to herself, until it’s done, until it’s wrapped up in pretty paper, with her name on it, officially in the book, written down. This time she knows, not to show, not to tell, what she has left. For she has given her life for these ideas. It’s her life and her intellectual property. If no one likes it, she will still create it. If they love it, she will thrive. Either way, she’s got to get there. But she is here.
She used to think that life was created by just a few steps. Now she realizes that the future is never here. For it is always now. And “there,” is such a distance from “here.” But her melodies sounding like they do presently to her ears, was so far away then. So she knows if she just keeps taking one step after another, she has a chance of getting there.
But today is today, and today has it’s limits. Yet today also has it’s beauty. And in that is where she has chosen to live.
Copyright Kat Lyons